Posted by: Anu Prestonia | September 29, 2009

The Legs Are The Last To Go


On a little vacation with my sister friends this August I was in my glory just having hours of nothing to do but sit under an umbrella and read.  I love reading, that’s my idea of precious time.  I decided to check out Diahann Carroll’s book, “The Legs Are The Last To Go” Aging, Acting, Marrying and Other Things I Learned The Hard Way.   Honey, make no mistake Diahann Carroll is a bona-fide Diva, in every sense of the word.  And she make no qualms in telling you so.  I enjoyed her audaciousness, her decision to reveal herself warts and all; as well as to celebrate herself.

Diahann tells about her pivotal rise to fame growing up sheltered in a secure and upwardly mobile family in Harlem N.Y.  One of Diahann’s issues that she really focuses on is her revelation regarding her pattern with men.  She speaks plainly about being savvy when it came to her career, networking, moving up, living the high life.  She is  the consummate professional who is laser when it comes to her career.  She did her research, was always prepared etc.,  but when it came to men, she’d somehow loose her common sense, take out her blinders and proceed to attempt to deem her light as to not out shine her partners and to look the other way as they made life for her difficult and unbearable.  She traces this behavior back to the bewildering confusion she experienced due to a decision that her parents made when she was a wee-tot, that lead her to the unshakable feelings of abandonment.

Every woman has her reasons why she feels it’s necessary to become inauthentic to herself, just to stay in a relationship, to help a man feel secure, to keep the peace in a relationship, or avoid being alone or to hang on to this man you just have to have.  Whitney and Diahann aren’t the only ones!

Thank goodness despite our efforts, some times we are helped in these situations.  Either we come to our senses or are driven there to avoid going stock raving mad.  Some times we seek professional guidance, or our internal GPS just knows we’re on the wrong road and will help us to navigate back to self possession.  Other times guardian angels just rescue us.

Ms. Carroll, basically tells how it took her darn near to her seventies to finally get it, that she is whole, with or without a man.  Hot damn, at least she got it.  I highly recommend “The Legs Are The Last To Go“.  It’s a historical journey of a sister who remains at the top of her game in an industry that few African Americans of her generation have been able to navigate with the success and “ease” that Ms. Carroll has accomplished.  Say what you want about Ms. Carroll, she has my vote, warts and all!


  1. Sounds like all of us need to read that book. At sometime or other we have let ourselves take a back seat to our men. Most times we forget and take the focus off ourselves. It’s good to know that there is till hope for us. I, for one, have decided not to settle. Until someone that moves me comes along, I will be by myself. Let’s be diligent and remember that we are the important one and we must take care of us.

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